“And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. 25 And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” [Genesis 2: 18 – 25 KJV].

Many marriages nowadays are in disarray and some have even gotten to the point of filing for divorce. A disturbing figure was released a few years ago, revealing that between January and March of that year, there were 3,000 divorce cases in Abuja alone! In some households, partners remain married in order to avoid social ridicule. This is to demonstrate how seriously marriage is under attack. If our marriage is to be heaven on earth, as God desires, we must adhere to the following principles:

1.Maintain an intimate relationship with God: It is critical for both couples to maintain an intimate relationship with God since we can do nothing without Him (John 15: 4 – 5). According to the Psalmist; “Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain” [Psalms 127: 1 KJV]. The threefold cord that the book of Ecclesiastes claims cannot be easily broken also applies to marriage [Ecclesiastes 4: 12]. The dynamics of a godly marriage should include God at the centre, followed by the husband and wife. The more a man and his wife have a close relationship with God, the stronger their personal relationship and bond. The inverse, on the other hand, including not playing, studying and praying together will almost likely not build a stable foundation nor promote a strong marriage bond. From our text, we know that God instituted marriage, it was not the idea of any man or culture. God is the author of marriage and He has standards He wants us to aspire to in running our marriages. As a result couples must always strive to normalise their marriages according to God’s principles and values.

2.Everyone should know their roles:  Recognize and fulfil your your scriptural role. The Bible outlines each partner’s responsibilities: ^“ Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.  Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.  Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,  that He might ^[g]sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word,  that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.  So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. [Ephesians 5: 22 – 28 NKJV]. God expects a man to love his wife unconditionally, as Christ did for the church. Similarly, regardless of the circumstances, the woman is required to submit completely to her “own” husband. Why do you think the scripture put the word “own” because God wants you to respect your husband for that is the scripture.

In marriage, a husband or wife has certain expectations from their spouse. A lady requires the following:

• Her husband’s affection and love. Women want to constantly be assured that they are loved and safe in their husband’s hands.
• A woman wants to freely have conversation with her husband.
• Honesty and openness. A wife needs outmost transparency from her spouse. One where there is no secret. Just as the book of Genesis 2: 25 puts it; ^“And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.”
• Financial support. A wife expects her husband to look after her. Make an intentional effort to celebrate and gift each other on special occasions, anniversaries and at random.
• Applaud each other’s efforts, appearance and so on.
• Family commitment. Every woman desires a man who is devoted to marriage, which is a lifelong commitment.

A man wants the following in a marriage:

• Sexual fulfilment. Wives should be able to sexually please their husbands and vice versa.
• Recreational Companionship: A man needs a spouse who is both a playmate and a confidant.
• Attractive spouse: A man needs a woman who is attractive. Maintain your beauty by taking care of your overall well-being and appearance.
• Domestic Support: A man needs a lady who can financially and emotionally support him.
• Admiration: Every man needs a woman he can be proud of.

Other important components include:

• Planning your finances jointly.
• Spend your money prudently.
• Stay within your budgetary limitations.
• Don’t go overboard with your spending.
• Don’t borrow to show off.
• Make adjustments and build understanding. Both of you come from different backgrounds, thus adjustment and mutual understanding are required from both of you.

There will always be conflict in every marriage.  When a disagreement arises, sit down and work things out together. God will be delighted with your marriage when you do.